Category: Let's talk
Hi all,
I was just wondering. How do you explain blindness to a young child. I know children who are 3 and a bit older don't quite understand it, so you have to explain things different; for example, When my niece or nephew ask why I'm blind, I tell them that my eyes are broken. I had to do the same thing for my brothers and baby sister. that usually works well, but how do you explain your blindness to younger kids? Thanks,
Leslie
Hey, Leslie, I think you're on the right track... young kids don't need to know the medical stuff, but they are naturally curious. I personally find with kids who are 5 or 6 that when I was born my eyes didn't work right. I often get the question of why don't doctors try to fix it, I tell them that the doctors tried very very hard, but couldn't fix my eyes. Sometimes they ask if that makes me sad, and I tell them that sometimes I get sad, but that I am not always sad.
Sometimes kids won't remember and it gets frustrating telling them over and over again, and I think sometimes patience is the key with those... and that's ok. Sometimes parents get more frustrated than us.
Kate
Agreed with Kate. You are on the right track. I explain something very similar, that my eyes are broken, that the doctors tried to fix them and could not, etc. I try to encourage their questions, so it's something they feel comfortable talking about, not afraid of. I have a lot easier time with the questions of children than I do adults, actually. If they're kids I stay involved with, like my nieces, I slowly fill in more details as they get older and are more able to understand.
I actually get frustrated when parents tell their kids not to ask questions... and of course there are polite ways to ask and impolite ways to ask, so perhaps that's part of it, but I get really frustrated when parents essentially tell their kids to shut up, as though I'm dirty or something.
Kate
I mostly just change the topic and won't usually discuss anything like this until a kid is at least 7 or 8 and that's cutting it fine, because me explaining usually means getting to play with blind stuff. and seeing how I live just fine and have lots of fun even. but I just say shortly before simply changing the topic, "oh My eyes don't work." that's all they need to know in my opinion.
That's what I've always said, my eyes are broken. It was so cute because when my son was about 2 or so, he said, "Well, then, we just need to get you some new batteries." Kids are so cute. Well, mostly.
I agree with pretty much everyone on here. The only addition I have made is to ensure them (if they're in my charge or a family / communal situation) that that doesn't change things, they are perfectly safe to come to me if they need to. Obviously that is out of bounds for a stranger child, but then again on that issue there's the concern that their mom or dad knows who it is they're talking to.
I guess in that sense, it's seen as normal, or as my daughter's friend put it when they were all little, "Oh, just another dad then." lol
And you know they accept you just fine when they come prowling around and begging you to get them food or take them somewhere or fix something of theirs. lol lol
Love the batteriy thing. Smile.
Yes, my eyes are just broken, and I love questions. The older they get the more detail you can give until you don't know either. Lol
I forgot. Blindfolds help lots as well. You make it a game. Smile.
I was just gonna say what Wayne did, about making it a game.
also, I think it depends on the kid, and how well you know them. I always encourage questions, though, no matter how old a person is.
my cousin has a two and four year old, and both already have started to understand my blindness, as they're around me quite often.
I told the four year old that my eyes don't work like hers, pointed to my cane, then said that it works, for me, the way her eyes do for her. I didn't know whether she understood it much, but she always hands me my cane when I stand up, and sometimes, even grabs my other hand and walks with me wherever I'm going.
Awww Chelsea, so cuuuuuuute@
Aww!
Actually some of the best sighted guides I've ever had were kids. They're so attentive and sweet about it.
I like to be very hands on about explainging to kids so they have to be older and I like to be slightly more technical.
I have a carbon fiber cane and imagine a little kid maybe 3 or 4 banging it on the ground a few times? It would brake and I need it to travel!!!
So, I would say that my eyes are no longer fuctional, and that they are damaged and white stuff covered my eyes, called cataracts. then, I would then explain how I can't see what they can. Then, I would tell them something like but I use this to help me get around, and show them a bit of how you use the cane, such as the two point touch or trailing or both. Then I hand over my cane and tell them give it a try. telling them again how it's done, sometimes. And, once this girl and her sister asked how I was using my ipod nano. so I let them take my earpieces, listen to voice over and explain that this was voice over and had them touch the screen. same thing with the braillenote. I'd have them ough and feel the braille display going up nd down first and tell them this is how I read and this is braille, and this is my version of a screen. then I show them the buttons then they can feel free to press a few buttons with the brailler I use to let them type on it and then put up with reading whatever non-sense they wrote out. haha!
these two girls I mentioned above wanted to know how I put on clothes and match colors. so I explained it to them. my dad had put rine stunes in combo like shapes and stuff like braille so I had them feel the dots and where it was. it's just by the bottom of my shirt just left of the left seam. So, now everytime I go by tyler and ryelie's house the name of the two girls and they are outside playing they would shout "You know you are waring (so and so color?) hahaha! one is 7 and the other is 9
Kate, I agree with you about getting annoyed with the parents when they try to prevent the child from asking questions. They don't realize they're being more offensive than their child is, and that it's situations like that that cause people to grow up so uncomfortable around someone who is blind, or has any disability. That's why I like to be open with kids. And in some respects, kids are smarter than their parents. When I had a guide dog, more than once the parent wanted to come pet it, and it was often the very young child who told them they couldn't, because my dog was working.
I remember when one of my nieces was about four or five, she tried to get into a staring contest with me. I have artificial eyes, but they don't close. I didn't even realize she was trying to stare me down until she said, in this totally pissed voice, "Aunt Alicia, your eyes don't shut! Why?" I was amused.
My niece (stepsister's daughter) was quite sharp, and picked up on stuff rather quickly. When she was younger and I saw her, while visiting Alaska this would've been, she quickly figured out that my eyes didn't work, and sometimes she'd put something in my hand if she saw me reaching for it. She'd also take my hand and pull me toward wherever I wanted to go, sometimes outside, and never even bashed my shins off of anything, which is more than I can say for some adults. Heh. Some children are just downright attentive.
I see no reason to be overly technical unless they start asking questions they truly want answers to, and usually as soon as they start getting bored or confused I lighten up.
Honestly, I don't get technical about it with kids or adults, unless the person asks more specific questions. I keep it more simple and easier to understand for kids, but essentially it all means the same thing. That's cool how some people show kids how they do things, because kids want to learn and the more you show them, the easier it is for them to understand. Plus, kids have a more open mind in this case than a lot of adults. They do not assume, they don't pity, etc.
I see absolutely no reason to get technical, either. kids, no matter what age they are, like having fun. so, if you give them technical explanations, they'd likely get bored really quickly, and certainly not remember what you told them, not to mention the "what the hell are you talking about?" look they'd likely be giving you.
oh, another funny story I have about the four year old. she was told by one of her parents to pick up her toys, and put them in the toybox. I told her I'd help her, and made it into a game/way to educate her about blindness.
I felt around in the places I knew her toys were located, and put them in the toybox, just as she was doing. she was laughing the entire time, and she saw for herself that having working eyes doesn't mean you're more capable than those of us who don't.
then, another time, I was on my way to the bedroom, and her brother, the two year old, said, "night night?" I said, "yeah, I'm tired," and he grabbed my hand, and said, "I help, I help, I help," and walked me to the room.
Hey Leslie. I just tell them the same thing, that my eyes are broken... they usually get it depending on how old the kid is. But my friends daughter is ten, and has most likely never met another blind person besides me, but the more that I see my friend (she lives in a different state then I do) the more her daughter understands.. for example, my friend had fallen asleep, and castle was on TV, and her daughter started explaining it to me in full detales... and she picked right up on that which I thought was really sweet... but yeahI just tell them the same thing. Rather then going into all that medical jargon I just tell them that my eyes are broken, and if they ask why, I'll just tell them I was born like that. and they usually don't press anymore on the topic depending on their ages. Amber
This is ironically something that happened a couple days ago to me. There was a flat tire on our motor home so we had to call Tripple A to come and fix it. The guy who came had his son with him and while the dad was working on the tire, the kid and I started talking. He was 11 and curious about how I did certain things being blind. I didn't have time to show him everything but I showed him how I used my cane and what the purpose of it was. He told me about his brother and how he had little vision in one of his eyes. It relieved a lot of the day's stress because along with taking my mind off the long day, it gave me the opportunity to show someone else, who wanted to know more about the blind and a blind person's abilities, that many things are possible with a little compromising and adjusting to the environment.
This is a slight branch off from the main topic, but still relating to kids and questions!
Guide dog users will know exactly the situation I'm talking about when you're out somewhere and a kid spots your dog. "Look at the doggie in the library!" "Doggie!" "She has a doggie!"
Most times, I'll hear the parent telling the kid that it's a Seeing Eye dog, and that it helps her get around, or that the dog is working. I always glance over and smile in their general direction, because I want people to know that it's OK to ask questions and be curious. Far better than the parents who shush their kids into silence. I still smile at them too!
I love that kids are curious and so willing and open about asking questions. I would tell my little cousin that my eyes didn't work, they were broken, and I put her hands over her eyes and told her that that's how I see. She kept forgetting that I can't see, wanting me to look at things, but I think the broken eyes example is the easiest thing for kids to understand.
I disagree. why tell them they're broken? why not tell them the truth, which is that they simply don't work like the kid's eyes do? kids understand that just fine, in my experience.
Yeah, plus blindness isn't always caused by something only being wrong with the eyes. My eyes are fine, but the cause of my blinndness is because my optic nerve is not fully developed. Of course, a kid won't know what the optic nerve is and if they asked why I was blind I would tell them. I haven't been asked by a kid why I was though, not yet. They've just asked what my cane was and why I used it.
good topic and i have had many children ask me what is wrong with my eyes because of seeing the cane and i just tell them that they don't work as properly as there's do, my eyes look normal so it is hard for people to notice my blindness unless they see me walking with a worried look on my face, lol, smiles.
As for me, I've too had children ask me what's wrong with my eyes, and even some have said that they were afraid of my eyes. I guess because I have a white area in my left eye from a sirjery but still1 I don't take it personal. Though I don't get technical, I've explained to them that my eyes don't work like their's, answering questions.
I agree that it is best to keep it simple for them and answer there questions as best as you can as they are curious of things that are different or that don't look normal to them.
All I will reiterate is that humans tend to look at other humans not like them as commodities, so you have to first establish yourself as an adult to them first with all that that implies. That means they can (if appropriate) trust you, or you defer to their parents for some things - the ubiquitous "you may want to ask your father about that" for some things, just as you would anyone else.
The irony is, we wish to be treated like everyone else, but it's important that we don't give all sorts of exemptions in the name of educating the public about blindness, e.g. public safety comes first, and so on. I never allowed a little kid to take my cane and use it, precisely because I, and not they, would be responsible if they tripped someone with it. I explained it as a public safety issue, for which at least one father had the presence of mind to back me up. It's a tool, not an education aid or what have you, so unless they're in a secure environment I don't allow it. But then again, kids have to learn that tools are just tools, but need to be experienced safely and with supervision.
I know it sounds like establishing a bit of dominance, and the popular cool kids would probably call that old-fashioned, but I think it's warranted. The lesson kids come away with is that adult people are adults first, then blind or black or gay or Muslim somewhere down the line. Then, if they're in your charge for any reason, they will be able to properly trust and rely on you without the fantasies and superstitions about abilities that many of their elder counterparts have come up with to entertain themselves.
leo, no one is saying that we just let kids run off with our canes. we're right there with them, as well as are others they know.